Do you want my money? It’s a circus out there.

How easy is it to do business with your organization?  How hard do people have to work to find out about your programs or services or pay for what you offer?  Here is my experience trying to buy tickets for the circus today.  Nonprofits can learn a few things from these challenges.

After two years of promising my sister (and brother)-in-law’s triplets (who are now 6) to take them to the circus, I heard Ringling Bros. was coming to town this week, so I decided it was time.  But for some reason, the circus really didn’t want me to be there.  Here is my ticket purchasing journey.

It started a few days ago when my wife, who I the CEO of Girl Scouts in our region, forwarded me an email stating that this Friday is “scout night” at the circus – which included $4 discounts on each ticket.  Luckily, two of the triplets were Girl Scouts (actually Daisies).  I called the number in the email and the woman who answered, informed me that the discount was for groups of more than 8.  Unfortunately, we didn’t make the cut off, but she offered to forward me to the arena ticket office.  I decided to call later since I was about to enter a meeting.

Later that day, I decided to purchase our tickets online and forgo the personal touch of being on hold for 20 minutes. There were dozens of companies trying to sell me tickets to this event but I was trying to go to the arena site so I didn’t have to pay the hefty Ticketmaster or other broker fees.  I actually couldn’t find the arena’s site.  I finally gave up and went to Ticketmaster.  The prices ranged from $15 – $85.  It was not clear what the different price ranges offered, so I proceeded to almost buy tickets in each of the categories so I could determine where each price level would land us.  Although the process was a bit laborious, I finally determined that the $22 seats were perfect.  Close enough to see things and not too close enough to scare the kids or me. . .

Lucky, they had $4 a seat discounts if you used an American Express card.  This was the same price we would have gotten if we had a large Girl Scout troop.  I was thrilled.  The problem was that when ordering the tickets in the American Express discount category, you needed to put in some type of secret code to get the preferred price.  This code was nowhere to be found.  The following conversation occurred when I called the arena or was it Ticketmaster?  I don’t really know.

Customer Service Rep (CRS):  (after waiting for 10 minutes for someone to pick up) Good evening, how can I help you? (in a heavy hard to understand accent)

Me:  I’m looking to purchase tickets for the circus using my American Express card discount, but I don’t know what the secret code is to allow the purchase.

CSR:  Where would you like to go to the circus?

Me:  Worcester, Mass.

CSR:  What state is that in?

Me:  Mass

CSR:  Is that a state?

I wonder which third world country this cubicle sitting operator is answering my call from. . .or maybe she couldn’t understand my New York accent.

Me:  Massachusetts.

CSR:  Oh. OK.

Me:  The website suggests that anyone with an American Express card can get $4 off the price of each ticket.

CSR:  Well sir, the only way to get that discount is to use a special discount code.

Me:  Well, I don’t know the code, but I do have an American Express card. Where can I get the code?

CSR:  From the web site, sir.

Me:  I can’t find it on the web site.  That’s why I’m calling you.  Can you help me?

CSR:  Sorry I can’t help you.  Anything else?

Me:  Well, what other discounts might there be?

CSR:  I’m sure we are distributing coupons at various retail establishments in the area, but I don’t know where.

Me: Big Y? Target?  McDonalds? Barnes and Noble? Brueggers?

CSR:  I don’t know. Do you have an entertainment booklet?

Me:  No.  What about AAA?

CSR:  Yes.  We take AAA.

Me:  Great.  Here is my AAA number.

CSR.  Sorry sir, you have to bring your AAA card to our box office. We don’t take the numbers on the phone.

Me:  Can you put a hold on the tickets and I’ll show you my card when I pick them up on Friday?

CSR:  No sir, we have to see your AAA card in person when you purchase the tickets.

Me:  Well, I work in Boston and live in Springfield, which will make it impossible to come to the arena in Worcester during your box office hours which end at 5:30PM.

CSR:  Sorry sir that is our policy.  You can just purchase your tickets on Friday.

Me:  OK.  Do you think there will still be good seats on Friday?

CSR:  I’m not sure.  You never know. Anything else sir?

Me:  Sure, but I don’t think you can help me.

Maybe I should have responded in my usual way by asking, “can you please forward me to a supervisor who has the authority to help someone out who is ready to buy tickets?”  For some reason, I decided to move on.

Before I gave up, I decided to explore the American Express site to see what codes they might have to open the secret circus tent payment door.    I searched using the term “circus” and found a Russian Circus and the Shriner’s circus, but no Barnum and Bailey.  Then I typed in Barnum, I found ways to buy tickets for the circus in Orlando, Toledo and Miami. . . but no Worcester, MA (yes MA is a state).   I was going to call American Express or Ticketmaster, but decided to stop looking and just pay the full price, which was the recommendation from my very pragmatic wife.

I then went to the Ticketmaster website to buy the non-discounted tickets and pay the hefty Ticketmaster surcharges.  But before I was going to give up on the discounts, I went to the American Express double secret code coupon box and as a joke starting typing in words — clown, elephant, cotton candy, lions, tigers and bears Oh My . . . but no luck. One more try and I typed in,  “AMEX”. . .and like a magic bottle holding an elusive Genie after you say abracadabra. . .  the web site accepted the code and I was home free. . . I was exhausted but have the bar coded tickets in hand that “should” allow me to enter the big top this Friday.  I can’t wait.  I just love the circus.  Oh yeah, this was about the kids.

I can’t wait to see what happens when we try to buy cotton candy. . .  I’m prepared with my AAA card, American Express card, social security card, driver’s license, college diploma and anything else they might throw my way.

Is it hard to do business with you?  Do all of your employees know when the marketing department has promised to customers?  Do your web people know?  How many people just don’t come to your programs because your web site is too confusing or the person who answers the phone doesn’t know how to help them?

Ask your friends or family members to try to become a member of your organization or sign up for a program to see what the experience is like.

Please share any related experiences you have had below.  I’m sure they’ll be amusing and insightful.

Tagged as: American Express, customer service, New Enterprise Factory, Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, Stephen Brand, Stephne, Ticketmaster